March 25, 2016

the cantata arietta


Le Violon d'Ingres (Ingres's Violin), 1924 by Man Ray
housed at the J. Paul Getty Museum


I ripped stitches today 
from old pleated crescendo  
end of movement's maybe 
start of another movement's maybe 
slavery to guarded 
never wise started 
bane frivolous souls like mine 
are greedy motherfuckers 
and we never learn in time

today I argued 
for what felt 
a final time 
with my wife 
we both shouted 
there is no love here 
save altruism in
adhesive ritual children 

it has been this way 
for some time now 
economics and voodoo we do 
pushing us under one roof 
though who am I kidding 
I'm the goof who probably 
never gave a shit enough 
to capture the melody 
past courtship 

it is as if I were 
locking myself away 
to save for the rainy day 
but I wasn't leaving my cave 
just staving off giving up 
who I was 
who I am 
when falling 
poet, a single 
dad almost
drowning 
in almost(s)
and what ifs
though it's plain to see 
I 'm fucking lost 
but at least I know 
to smell for the angels now

demons you say...? 

I was born 
covered in their scent...

left hand cavatina 
and the mountains 
opened up 
all my memories 
spilled forth 
piper laughing 
busy collecting 
the expressions 
on each fold  
of my faces 

EJR ©

2 comments:

  1. "end of movement's maybe"

    I love how it was going along so beautifully, but then you started talking about your potty activities. ;)

    I'm so glad to know who you really are, under all this. I mean, you're both. All of the above. Lots of complex organisms inside. But I'm so glad to know more of you than just what meets the sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is my favorite part: "I'm the goof" ... This is who you really are, and it's beautiful. All that other stuff you believe about yourself is just a lie. I mean, a little bit true. But you know, the mommy stuff; it's legit. Really, who isn't just a hurt/damaged little girl or boy trying to survive the big, bad world? You have a lot of friends who will support you through this difficult transition. Good vibes, Edward. They're all around you. I know you feel them.

      Delete