so
you married into the vagaries of a vagabond
it
is not an easy truth
to
walk away and
leave
this marriage
with
children behind
in
fact it is the softest
sharp
kind of killing
I
have ever felt
no,
I didn’t seek
to
fall out of love
I
only sought a way
inside
myself
so
yes you can
call
me a despicable man
and
say that I am a bad father
and
that you wish this
or
that had never happened
but
the fact remains
my
love can only grow
when
I am front and center
in
the mirror nearer
the
true north of my
heart
and soul
so
I don’t wish to fight for
or
save something
irrevocably
broken
like
a sieve counted on
as
being a bowl
that
holds the rain
I’d
just as soon cut myself
into
a millions pieces
and
fall prey to the wind
over
and over again
to
scatter me as ashes
to
take forever to seed
just
find another place to bleed
in
the quiet desperation
of
not being counted on
by
you for anything
especially
being a facsimile
of
what used to be
something
other than
a
ritual burial
as
I keep wishing
as
I am reaching
around
the corner
that
you can find
how
to be happy
again
EJR
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