soul so-journey id and intelligence ..............................................................#NaPoWriMo2016

we had set about over a milk 
and honey once landscape 
in our 1980's era car  

the bottles on our walls 
were beer cans 
and we were spent too 
covered in mantras that said : 
what if the largest con 
in the world has been 
the advent of monotheism 

can their precepts even 
be in our cause formative 
limbic system(s), odd 
how this life strives 
universal struggles 
and surrenders 
to evolve into desperate 
thought, a pure conscious energy 
without need of form(s) ...

are we meant to suffer 
in order to beg the mercies 
life-guarded by conservationists 
on austere diets tied to sticks 
stones and war machines 
liturgy knees, palms and pleas 

do the guano lords 
with their, as we 
have been conditioned 
to see, leathery wings 
forked tongues and tails
protect themselves 
against heaven's radiation 
by dwelling deep below 
to avail themselves 
molecular slip dipped in Sun
is this how we  
un-slave ourselves 
going blind nose 
as moles might 

what of service(s) 
cock and bull shit schleppers
do we pay them 
to clean the streets 
of ever growing social lepers 
and by this I mean 
those not pliable enough 
to ascend quite yet 
or deemed worthy enough 
or having accumulated 
the right stamps 
of approval and hence
put to working 
the death to come 
much more quickly 
all the while hustling 
little pockets of gold, glory 
stories with questions 
like more coffee or tea? 

I want a drink of water ... in your sometimes 
I want to mouth your rain ... hoping 
the taste of you is another life or two ...
would you be my pilot 
my passenger or partner 
in crime 

did I say time was a bastard too 
or that the last herd here 
would be led to slaughter 
no you said a fool understands 
the gold standard parades 
what does bastard mean 
that you have no purpose here 
save the indentured lean 
and is that why you go flying 
out of open windows when dreaming
taking chances with scrappy bits 
of bone, flesh and soul
throwing yourself 
to the wind 
with hope enough 
to cut your skin 
to spill life 
onto an empty canvas
waiting 
I repeat cycle(s) 
as most of us do 
wittingly and 
unwittingly 

       interior monologue I spied 
the whole hog in the butcher case 
I grew up poor wide eyes 
with gluttony in its place 
we ate jowls, sweet cheeks 
now a hipster delicacy 
and out of my price range 

          I lean towards vegetarianism 
because it makes my aging 
body feel better but 
I still eat pussy the same way 
after beer or champagne, 
slowly at first with the intention 
of getting her reciting to incite me aside 
her private prayer to poem book ...

  this part of poem starts by asking the reader questions :

            have you known at all, 
of the interference mavens 
circling round the planet 
in their satellites 
of trenches 
mouthed 
in whisper 
art  
                 can you hear them 
assign us names electrical curtains 
mythological names spirit names 
summon names free will 
and what fills in 
the cracks  
of innocence 
leaving with 
sinister laughter(s) 

in the background 
you'll often hear 
things said like : 

            look at them 
walking upright 
feel as if they are beasts 
while thinking like a god
poor poor mankind 
goes to school 
a water melon 
comes back a rind 

and there can be no telling 
what capable is to them 
though at the very little least 
we do spare them the rod 
opting instead for saddle 
bit, bridle and reins...

  what if justice is just desserts 
maybe(s) in hazy recollections 
what you pore over your life in 
piles of good deeds and bad ones 
inland salt seas 
to hills and mountains 
of material we shed 
along the way like snakes do
lungs and hearts demand clothes too 

              but what if I never believed 
 in any great me 
what does saving mean 
and though I do 
understand 
what desire does
to time 
it still makes me 
feel old when 
tourniquet-ing 
my nostalgia
how it says why 
choosing a demise  
is what my core need 
often needs completing 
another journey 
Earth to sky 

int
er steal stellar 
cellar wine 
and gloaming crept 

will we have arrived 
trailing in goodbyes with words 
being written on paper lanterns 

will we return 
as ashes or friends 
burning remnant songs 
of days gone by 
casting slip noose-d nets 
binding sound to language 
many hats and homes

my will to be 
liked but unseemly
derives me to drive 
myself further 
inside myself 
shield and shells 
spiel and hells 
wondering at and through 
a world of indifference 
do I hunger 
for every smile
or continue to try 
and love from here 
where I prefer 
Beltane's breezes 
with no light

I have been doing 
half animal half spirit 
medical taped wrists 
wearing blood and divinity 
taking entrance and exit 
in wonder murmurs 
and in-audibles 
I am a rushed hurried 
need to be going some place
I am an ambulance of want(s)
speeding past 
holographic versions 
of me 
I am a long night 
of knives and fight
sirens ablaze 
Doppler-ing 
the flight chasing someday 
where the dark 
watches me disappear  
again miles ahead 
of where and who 
Dawn and I 
had already been 
yesterday 

EJR ©