as my loadstones crumble
I
am leaving behind
all
that trapped
in
the mountains jazz
and
slaking my horns
through
my lush slow tipped death
whispered in the mixed pines
and tall hardwoods
of the northern deciduous forests
with the end of July
beginning its
yellow
bleeding
into
the wind
I
am jumping between
lightning
strikes
into
the open shale mouth
of
a ravine cut into the spine
of
the granite perch I was on
a
storm came up
as
most often do here
as
quick as a blink
as
I was overlooking a small lake
the
smell of burnt air
was
inescapable
too
heavy to ignore
I
could close my eyes
and
still smell death
waiting
from above
to
complete another circuit
this
is where my fears paint
in
this space between
the
desire of fog rising to fill
and
the leap of faith needed
when
unfulfilled promise
is
gathering mass and forging
new
links into chains
I
am a rattled hesitancy
and
I am dragging
my
stubborn will, everywhere
my
petulance against change
can
arrange every sound
into
a moan
that
doesn’t know
how
to smile
in
the dark
I
close my eyes anyway
and
fear paints fast
a
milliard cut away scenes
moving past me
in x-ray animation
skeletal
Indians in head dresses
and
misty stoned expressions
seem
sad and waiting
as
if the stirred pot
of
my Universe wants me
to
embrace the storm as passage
and
this sacrament of blood
is the iron fires
of my cage-calling for any home
that
might have me
in
a land uncertain of vision
I
am red-shifting ideas
to
hide them from momentum
to
stuff them onto trains
that
pass the depots with only
their
mail hooks out
wanting
more words from me
more
of my near empty to carve
more
acknowledgement that my compass
no
longer works in my clever hands
I
can turn anything
into
a ghost these days
ever
searching for
the
glory smile of night
to
put back into my soul
or
at least to know
how
to drink from
the
silhouettes of cups
pitch-forking
remnant delicacies
of
tabled things
I
actually believe
I
deserve to enjoy
at
this turn-feast
of the Wheel
in
prayer
before
I open
my
mouth
so that
I
might find
myself
with
my nose
alone
EJR
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