Train wreck at Montparnasse Station, Paris, France, 1895. |
when love fails to glue every part broken from a fall
(horses and cadavers)
the Sun plays
outside my window
I pray for more rain
everywhere it smells
of death
of paper rattle poems
in the steps of schoolchildren
scuffling their feet
through dry leaves
on their way home
from school
" don't turn away from me,
you owe me!..."
she exhorted, my back to her
I could hear spittle fly
from the barely contained
anger inside the words
she was choked up
with barely enough
muster to mutter...
I no longer cared to mend ways
I only knew to survive I had to
keep taking and taking
not giving a rat's ass
fuck me...?
fuck you
fuck this
I mumble to myself
hands in my pockets
shoulders tucked, walking away
deliberately singing
stringing one moment
to the next
for supper my soul
is an egg
wrapped in rags
a quiet shelled self
in jaunted stilted whispers
that at first were
just sounds I heard
as if I were bleeding out
in a warm bath...
words and wishes
for more cages
and dishes to break too
flesh and bones
to complete you
in the heated articulations
of love's dissipation
scrolling along
like movie credits
you in a seat
while turned away
from watching
how you listen
to the scent
of nothing left to give...
"I am from the hell
you wish to send me to,
how is it love mistakes fate
time and time again just to get away from thee,
whence our eyes gain limbs we surmise and surprise
and guess we are all lip service chains and balls
catalogued in someone's fading memory
this way we station places where our emotions
went when they become blind to their intentions
and we found out we had driven too fast,
while still wishing we had walked
or rode slow horses..."
EJR ©
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