I
have an ocean front neon vacancy for a soul
I
gather what provisions
of
numbing disconnect I can
fingering
through days like sand
as
if they were promises
I
know I won’t keep
for
me it is better to be a hermit
or
what the dead moss
of
my electrical yearn gathers
I am a street
level devil
with
guttural utterances
I
have learned to dance to
in order to entertain you
the
stone calendars in the sky
are
kites with keys in the rain
I
don’t trust my mind or my heart
for
what matters because
keeping
anything is irrelevant
when
I am this depressed
I‘m
not sure what Love is
or
if I am capable of its sanctuary
as
the words that seem to bless me
are
just the seduction
beyond
any reason to come correctly
from
the hard knocks when easy exits
are
everywhere in the late leaning Sun
of
September in upstate NY
this
is where the wind wears me
thin
enough to see through me
as
gravity lenses my fall from grace
for
44 plus years
I
have raced
to
be heard
to
be seen
as
something worthwhile
but
all I hear
and
all I see
is
the hollow silence
of
a bell waiting to be rung
and
the empty in the mirror
that
looks back at me
and
says you’re not anywhere
you’re
supposed to be
so
why not take one lasting breath
and
be in Love for once with finality
last-paging
a story book charm
and a warm rooted chase for a home
I
sing in an eternal rondelet
of
waving goodbyes
that
are always almost there
the
seagulls know
and
rhyme their cries
into
the chorus
of
more please pour
for
us
I
am turning this sign on
and
renting out the space
my
soul has taken up
all
this world’s time with
so
one day maybe
when
the message
in
the bottle
tides
a stop just right
I
may even get to see you there
and
when I do
I
might even promise to
drink
all of you this time
so
everything you might say
is
inside chance
behind
the glass
on
the table
just
past the black
of
another rabbit hole
I
have jumped in
and
I might even promise
to
hold on tight
to
what life
beyond
my dark
has
to offer again
EJR
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