September 13, 2012

poem 323 of a poem a day for 2012

I am manic depressed

every day I get dressed
in the clothes of my emotions
whether I am brightly colored
or a cave gray nested neutral dark
I am seeking the tinder spark
and wanting something
outside myself on that shelf
or at the side of the road
wanting something
I know is inside me
and always gets me
to crawl back
from the night as I cry
questions that only wombs
know the answer to
just so I can feel the spread
of every Dawn’s tiny fingers
across the horizon
of the numbing handles
I climb back to you with

this world is so full of hate
and flags that denigrate
our humanity
as we
vote for peace
and vote for war
and rubber stamp each approval
to be the purchased whore
we find that currency
that bleeds us
to the slowest end
and reside there
and hold our breath
for something we are told
will only come after death

now I don’t believe
in that Heaven sold
in the Americanized world
as a subscription plan
from the insurance man
is worth buying into
because it doesn’t make sense
to wait for something
to have to die to get
when it is all around us
rent free
and something
once felt
is hard to forget

I am panning for the gold
in your eyes
in my eyes
in the eyes of strangers
that pass me by
so if you see my blues
coming at you
in a rhythmic ramble of words
or the scratched splash paint
of talons and graffitti
that will be me
the sensitive poet
and not Kilroy
on the faded bricks
and crumbled walls
of the wars that keep
our fears as fresh as daisies
and that will be me
you hear
wondering out loud
why oh why
is the sky
upside down today
with all the kites
tangled in
the fishing lines


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